14 #BF30DaysOfGratitude Style: Bravery & Bullying

Posted on November 10, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

It’s been a while – okay, a loooooong while – since I’ve posted my High-Low column. So, I decided to put a #BF30DaysofGratitude spin on it this week since, well, we’re smack-dab in the middle of it. Here we go, here we go, here we go.

HIGH

I had an amazing day on Friday. I challenged myself. I dared myself. I went out on a limb, I found bravery and I was rewarded richly. That’s my high. It’s that simple. Here’s the recounting:

High 11/10/14: Be Brave

#Bf30DaysofGratitude Day 7 11/7/14: I am so grateful for those moments of bravery that define the survival of a creative life. I keep this @charmandgumption “Be BRAVE” sign pinned to my bulletin board above my desk. Every morning, it reminds me to be just that. Today, I took the first step in turning a dream into a reality. I feel like I can fly. I urge you to do the same today. This week, do something that scares you, and let bravery be your guide. It never disappoints. Ask your heart: What would you do if fear wasn’t a factor?

LOW

Oh, and there just has to be a low, doesn’t there? This low wasn’t mine. It was a friend’s. I am – and have always been – an anti-bully crusader. I don’t understand it. I don’t condone it. And I DON’T tolerate it. My dear, beautiful, sweet, kind, hilarious, creative and generous friend dove into the pool of online dating a while ago. Overall? A pretty fun – and funny – experience, according to her texts, which she’s kind enough to share with me across state lines – until she was bullied by a callous coward online bully. No need to honor him by going into the nasty details, but I want to honor her by saying that I stand united against bullies and am so happy that we have an anti-bullying community on this here planet.

Low: Bullies

#Bf30DaysofGratitude Day 5: Today, I am so grateful for all of the anti-bullying campaigns and organizations alive today, such as @kindcampaign @noh8campaign @trevorproject @stompoutbullying and @bravetrails (whose bingo fundraiser is tonight at WeHo Hamburger Mary’s). As a woman who spent a good portion of her young life yo-yo dieting and straightening my naturally curly hair as a result of a few cruel, careless words uttered by 8th grade kids, I can assure you that the effects of bullying can last a lifetime. And I know how easy I had it. So many aren’t that lucky. Thus, I am so thankful that these forward-thinking organizations exist to encourage and educate the bullied, the bullies, the parents and the educators. Bullying cannot – and – WILL NOT – be tolerated. And I support any and every organization that fights it.

So, here’s our lesson this week.

Be brave. And be kind.
It’s really simple as that.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: When have you felt most brave? Have you ever been bullied? What’s your High-Low this week?

Life Lessons: Tennis After 27 Years

Posted on September 3, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

It only took 27 years of a hiatus after some discouraging words…but I'm back at it!

There are moments that shape us – for better or worse – and, at the time, we don’t even realize that they’re happening. And there are authority figures who become monsters in our minds’ memories simply because of a few ill-thought words they say on a Monday. We are such fragile little people as children and haphazard words can break us much more easily than broken bones can.

One of those moments for me was when I was in 7th grade and that authority figure was Mrs.B – or Coach B, as her players called her. I knew she hadn’t ever liked me in the two years she’d had me for P.E. but I braved it out and asked Mrs. B when the tennis tryouts would be that spring of 1991. Her chuckle couldn’t hide her mockery, “Do you even know how to play? It’s very competitive and hard to make the team. And you’re anything but athletic.” Her smirking, disbelieving face read, “Are you stupid? I will never let you make that team” all over it. I believed her. And why wouldn’t I? After all, I had only attended one tennis camp when I was 9 years old and this was all it took to make me rethink my confidence as an athlete. So a tennis pro I was not to be. Shut down. At age 13.

But this wasn’t the first time this particular coach had shut me down. See, she was right. I wasn’t what you would call the most athletic of kids. I was raised in an intellectual household where the arts were encouraged and my mother took glee in throwing away the sports page. She still does. She literally grins.

But I really did try to give sports a go. Over the years, I would try field hockey my freshman year of high school (where I played Junior Varsity one season, received excellent & encouraging hard-core coaching by Coach Mrozek and got to wear cute skirts), volleyball (in 8th grade where that same earlier coach, Mrs. B, never even looked at my group during tryouts even though I’d been in volleyball camp all summer long) and cheerleading…which is, unsurprisingly, where I wound up (again, with the cute skirts – see a theme here?).

At 13, it seemed to me like Coach B seemed to delight in my misery. But “why?” I would ask myself. Was it because unlike my best friend (one of her favorites, who was blonde and petite like her and played tennis and volleyball) I was already 5’9″ with a woman’s body which at 13 seemed to translate to chubby? Was it because I dreaded gym class (or did I dread gym class because of her)? Or maybe it was because I was a bit of a singing-acting-sunshiney kid who was considered a bit of a Pollyanna-meets Patty Simcox kissup?

13-going-on 30. Was this why Mrs. B never liked me? As pretty as the setting is, this picture was the beginning of the worst year of my life…8th grade.

No, the reason she didn’t like me I imagine was a) that I didn’t try out for the volleyball team in that earlier fall of my 7th grade year when she had asked me to try out because they “needed tall people” (what a thrilling invitation) – and – b) because I was different from a lot of the girls in our Dallas, Texas, prep school and she didn’t understand me, and didn’t care to. Honestly, I have no idea why she didn’t like me and I’ll never know. Do we ever know why people don’t like us?

The truth is it doesn’t matter. I let these negative words and this negative energy from one coach keep me from years of playing a sport I actually really enjoyed. Worse yet, I learned that athleticism was a club in which I could never belong and to view working out as a chore rather than a game which I dreaded and feared over the years as my weight fluctuated up and down on the scale, along with my self-confidence. I never played tennis again…until now.

I am grinning as I write this. I have been saying that I wanted to take tennis lessons for years. It’s the one sport I can see sticking with as I grow older. And, it’s not just because of the cute skirts this time – although that certainly doesn’t hurt.

Well, Chris – one of my best friends – had been listening all this time. And this past Friday, when I was having kind of a hard day, he came over and said, “We’re gonna go buy you a tennis racquet.” And so we did. A beautiful white and robin’s egg blue Prince racquet…for my birthday…in November.

Two days later, I found myself on the courts at Beverly Hills Tennis Club volleying back and forth with Chris. It was like I’d never stopped. I’d say it was as easy as getting back on a bicycle but I’ve never ridden a bicycle. (Truth.) I could have played for hours. But while I played, I found all of those years of feeling like I wasn’t good enough come flooding over me. That one moment in my life kept me from playing a sport I loved for 27 years!! How could I have let that happen? I made the decision right then and there that I would never let another person’s words ever have that kind of power over me again. What time I’ve wasted and what fun there is to be had!

Now, on to important questions like “who am I going to play with?” and “which new tennis skirts should I buy?” No, seriously. I am so excited to have rediscovered this sport at this point in my life. I’m as giddy as the girl I used to be.

One minor victory when it came to Mrs. B? When I was in high school, Mrs. B called me and asked me to babysit one Saturday night as we lived in the same neighborhood. She was desperate and really in a pinch. I heard the pleading in her voice and thought about the good girl I usually was and how we should help those in need…and then proceeded to feel the deepest, most devilish little thrill as I told her, “I’m so sorry. I’m going out tonight,” and smiled to myself. That karma sure has a funny sense of humor.

xoxo,

BF Asks: What life lessons have you learned?

High-Low 6/30/14: Bye, Bye Boys

Posted on June 30, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

As is the case in all of our lives, sometimes the high is the low and the low is the high.

That’s the case with this week’s High-Low.

As I’ve mentioned before, I live in this magical neighborhood called Wilshire Vista, which is a flashback of the past. All of my neighbors and I say “Good Morning” every morning, take the dogs on walks around the block every day, borrow sugar from one another, walk to the french bakery and share a cup of coffee, take care of each other’s kids and pets, pop a beer on the front porch or a glass of wine in the backyard and whoop it up at one another’s parties.

But it’s much more than that. This neighborhood has become my family, here in Los Angeles. I am told that this is a rarity. So when some members of our tribe move away, it is a deep loss that is felt at our core.

This week, we said goodbye to one of our favorite families – the Bowers-Disney clan.

The Bowers-Disney family at my past birthday party

This family of four taught me so much that I never even knew I needed to learn. I met Robert on a walk one day when my 5-lb Maltese pup, Miss Ellie, took a shine to his huge brute of a dog (with a mushy heart of gold) named Bubba. A friendship was born between us and little did I know that their lives were about to majorly change.

Within the year, sweet Bubba passed away, Robert and his longtime love, Joe fostered two adorable little boys named Elijah and Theodore and then got married on the same day that they adopted those two little boys. The picture of seeing these 2 men and 2 boys become an instant family in one day was one of the most powerful things I have ever seen in my life.

They are such a beautiful, kind, creative and fun family and the whole neighborhood was inspired by them. I know I certainly was. From them, I learned that families can be formed in a million different ways and that love is the common ingredient in every enviable family.

This past weekend, they moved to Washington D.C. to start a new chapter together. And boy, will those boys be missed. But as they start that new chapter, I hope they will remember this slew of characters from their chapter here in Wilshire Vista, who will think of them with love and blessings every time we walk past their house.

I miss y’all already.

*Afterthought: Later, they told me that long before they adopted the boys, they had had a piece of art hanging in their living room that they were never able to let go of – even though they thought many times that they should as it wasn’t quite their decor. It was a painting of two men holding hands with two little boys. The power of this piece of art hit them after that day when they became a family. It’s as if it was always meant to be. Needless to say, they never gave away that painting.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What’s your neighborhood like?

High-Low 6/3/14: Synchronicity & Ricky Nelson

Posted on June 3, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

Yet again, it’s time for the most popular column on BeautyFrosting – my High-Low. *So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for the sake of reflection but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is…

***

HIGH: Synchronicity

High: Heroes Becoming Friends - Tracy McMillan & I at Step Up's Inspiration Awards

Synchronicity is defined as the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality.

Increasingly, I am starting to believe in sychronicity in our lives and that we really do in fact become what we envision. I have seen it quite a bit in my own life and although that dubious cynic in my head likes to battle the Polyanna in my heart and perk its head up when it happens, it’s becoming difficult to ignore. Here are a few reasons why the cynic isn’t winning which I was reminded of this week when I ran into my friend, Tracy McMillan at the Step Up Inspiration Awards.

1) I grew up listening to country music. My dad used to tell stories of listening to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio in his room as he fell asleep as a child. So imagine my dad’s delight when I played the Grand Ole Opry back in 2003 and 2005 and he got to come backstage to the place that shaped his youth and helped him escape a rather difficult childhood. It was one of my all-time favorite dream-turned-reality moments.

2) I used to read Moll Anderson’s column in Nashville Lifestyles every month as I ate macaroni and cheese on my lunch break while working at a beauty store in Nashville. At the time, I was missing L.A. and feeling like my best opportunities had passed me by. I felt a little hopeless and I saw this gorgeous, smart, creative and inspiring woman living the life that I could only imagine living. Fast forward 5 years and I randomly (or was it?) met Moll’s son in the elevator of an office that we shared in Hollywood. Now, I am a correspondent for Beauty Beat on The Moll Anderson Show every week on iHeartRadio and I call Moll my dear friend and inspiring mentor. And let me tell you, knowing her is even more inspiring than reading her.

I used to read her column in Nashville Lifestyles. Now, I call her my friend and mentor.

3) Another example? When I was going through a rather painful breakup with my ex (don’t worry, he’s now my best friend), I was depressed. So depressed that I had been sitting around my house, drowning myself in breakup movies and Friday Night Lights episodes – trying to forget what might have been. At one point, I knew I needed to get out. So I made myself go out to a wine bar called Bottle Rock in Culver City…alone.

I sat on a couch outside and there was another single girl there, Alexandra. We ended up chatting and, after sharing our stories, she told me that I MUST read this book called, I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway: A Memoir by Tracy McMillan. Alexandra told me that I would get so much out of it at that point in my life. I bought the book on Amazon that very night and had read it within 4 days. I loved it and consider it a huge part of my heart-healing process. A few months later, my dear friend, Amy, came by and saw the book sitting on my table. “Did you read this? My friend Tracy is the author.” I was stunned.

I ended up meeting Tracy a few months later at Amy’s holiday party and am now grateful to call her my friend. And she continues to inspire me as writer and as a person. I have never seen Alexandra again but we are friends on Facebook. If I had not made myself go out, not chosen to go to that wine bar, not chosen to sit outside, sit on that couch or near Alexandra, I never would have read that book that inspired me so much. And I never would have been able to meet one of my now-literary heroes.

4) I’ve seen it with my friends, as well. When I worked for Barbra Streisand, I met Moe and Tini who came on to the team as Barbra’s assistants. Moe and Tini had been loyal Barbra fans since their childhood days in Philly. When they ended up working for Barbra in Malibu, there was no way to ignore that their dreams had turned into their realities. Now, they’re on to their next dreams of being writers/directors/producers and have an amazing film in pre-production based on their Philly days.

5) And I also saw it with Tracy McMillan, herself. She – and her friends – recall countless times that she said her dream was to be on Oprah. This past May, that dream came true when she appeared on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.

So don’t tell me that synchronicity isn’t real. Don’t tell me that dreams don’t come true. And don’t be afraid to believe in the beauty of your dreams. Those dreams are some powerful things, my friends. Believe that they just might come true. And look for the synchronicity in your life for synchronicity is basically just a reminder that your dreams are works-in-progress, just waiting to come true in their own time.

LOW: Ricky Nelson Knew Best

LOW: Ricky Nelson Knew Best

As I have mentioned before, I tend to be a major people pleaser – so much so that I have been working at trying to become a little less of a people pleaser. But it is no easy task. While I don’t make it a habit of letting down people, in the past few months, I have done just that a few times. One of my best friends is not talking to me because I was tardy in replying to a text when she needed me…apparently very much. Another friend told me this past weekend that I hadn’t been as actively supportive and helpful of their career as they would like while they have always been my biggest champion.

Listen, these are not things I enjoy admitting. It breaks my heart and makes me question whether I am on the right path a bit. But here’s the thing: I know that I am. I am just learning new boundaries, taking care of myself and slowly – very slowly – learning not to take everything so personally. My parents used to love Ricky Nelson – and he was, in fact, one of the first concerts I attended as a small child. So that might be why the lines from his song, “Garden Party” keep ringing in my head. “I’ve learned my lesson well. See, you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.”

Well, I’ll still probably try to make people happy – most especially those people I love. But I am learning that in this busy game called life, you can only do your best and leave the rest – and hope that you can be forgiven when you fall short. Because you will – as hard as you try not to – sometimes, fall short.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

High-Low 4/22/14: Easter & Ouch

Posted on April 22, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

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HIGH-LOW 4/22/14

Easter? Yay!!! Face burns? No bueno.

This week was a doozy (aren’t they all?) as it contained my favorite holiday – for which I hosted a garden party – and my not-so-fave as, well, my face got burned! And it all happened in one day. See? Doozy.

As my old boss used to say, Oy vey.

Up first? The high, of course. Here we go, here we go, here we go.

HIGH: My 3rd Annual Classic Southern Easter Dinner

My Easter table surrounded by friends. My cup runneth over...both literally and figuratively

I love having a houseful of people. To be honest, I feel most alive and happy when I am hosting a soiree at my house – surrounded by friends, indulging in delicious, homemade food and drinking wine and laughing. Add in some board games and I’m having the time of my life. All of that just does my heart good. And it definitely does my heart good to look around me and see the folks I hold so dear looking plumb happy.

Which is why I ignored a friend’s advice when he told me to skip hosting my annual classic southern Easter dinner this year (although he’s usually quite wise). With all I have going on, it just didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do. But I am so glad I did it!

There were old friends, new friends and enough food, wine and spirited conversation to go around. And I really appreciate that my guests who have attended each year said that they so look forward to it and it’s one of their most beloved events of the year. It might be a hefty task to take on when things are busy and bustling but anything that makes me feel so good simply can’t be a bad thing.

The theme this year? Ricky Nelson-Garden Party style. In the backyard with the tasel garlands, puffs on trees, birds and the bees. Oh, you know what I mean...

The reason I love this tradition so much is because it marries the best of the old traditions precious to my family – which reminds me of my younger days – with the new traditions that I’m creating on my own with my friends and surrogate family out here in LA. It is such a beautiful thing – and isn’t that what life’s all about?

As with everything, it’s all in the delicate details – and the delicate details are what delight me. I used my Nanny’s silver, made her Jello lime salad in her vintage jello mold and served the salad on her white and gold cake stand. I always feel connected to her when I bake but when I actually use precious family treasures that she owned for years, I feel especially connected to her.

Marrying the old traditions with the new ones. Pictured here is my Nanny's silver and my favorite new washable linen napkins from Haute Hostess (Left) and Jessie Steele (right)

We started out the day with a DIY Mimosa bar from One Hope Wine that was a hit! Guests could custom-make their own mimosas featuring One Hope Sparkling wine and select from a bevy of juices, fruits and mint to muddle, mix and design to their heart’s content. More on the Mimosa Bar (and how you can order the One Hope Wine Mimosa Bar Set) on Thirsty Thursday this week!

DIY Mimosa Bar featuring One Hope Wine Mimosa Bar Set - this was a HIT!

What else was served for dinner? Well, we always have a HoneyBaked ham, my Cowboy Corn Casserole, my Paris, Texas Green Bean Casserole, my Southern Pea Salad, Matt Marr’s Prized Deviled Eggs, mac & Cheese, turkey, salads and SO much more!

The Spread: southern fare galore!

As for the best part? Dessert, of course! I baked my annual Easter Bunny Coconut Cake (this year her name was Bedelia – yes, seriously), my Chocolate Cream pie, my Blackberry Cream pie and my Nanny’s ‘Nana Pudding. Holy goodness, it was all delicious!

But even more delicious than the food was the company. Thank you to each and every one of you who came and celebrated a beautiful spring day in my backyard. The memories will live on long after the food is gone – and the memories were downright magical.

The memories will live on long after the food is gone...

LOW: Ouch!

LOW: Ouch! Too many irons in the fire and something might catch ON fire! (p.s. That white stuff on my face? It's Silver Sufudiazine which helps burns)

I’ll keep this short. I burned myself. While busily setting the table, cooking, baking and decorating for Easter dinner, I spotted a Diptyque candle on fire in my living room. Nope. Not stressful at all. A fire extinguisher would’ve made a mess for such a small fire so I (dumbly?) decided to blow it out. Well, the hot wax splashed up and hit my face. It actually didn’t really hurt – probably because I was so focused on putting out the fire!

I’m fine – and it could have been much worse but I did receive 4 small burns on my face – one second degree that’s requiring a bit of attention so as to prevent scarring. But thanks to my dermatologist, I’ll be right as rain in no time. And, again, even though I’m calling it a low, I know that there is much, much worse than having a few burns on your face. A good reminder to yes, keep all those irons in the fire but to keep your eye out for things catching on fire with all we have going on every day.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

High-Low 4/7/14: Wrecking Ball & Sick For A Day

Posted on April 7, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

HIGH: Friends who just know you-and give you the best gift of all

High: Meeting Emmylou Harris & Daniel Lanois on their Wrecking Ball tour

When I was 18 – and a senior in high school – I lost my beloved grandmother whom we lovingly called, “Nanny.” Nanny was the heart of our family and her heart was in the kitchen. I think that’s why I always feel so at peace when I’m in the kitchen now.

When we lost her, music became even more important to me – and it was already very important. I would listen to Mancini’s “Moon River” on the Breakfast at Tiffany’s soundtrack incessantly. This only stopped when my big brother, Davy, introduced me to a record by Emmylou Harris – which was produced by Daniel Lanois – called Wrecking Ball.

One vivid memory I recall – among the many I have of that record – is sitting in the sunroom of my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s-stepmother’s house for which he was housesitting that summer. This room was the “truth” room in that it coaxed us into sharing memories, complaining about – and to – one another, and was a place where secrets had a way of coming out that would change us forever.

The one common thread – amongst all of the drama – that I remember that summer is that record. Wrecking Ball. And what an apropos title it had! Good music has the most magical way of doing that – sitting in your memory like a lover lost that you just can’t ever forget.

Now, I have another magical memory of that record – thanks to one of my dear best friends, Lindsey Vaerst. This girl is one of the most considerate, thoughtful and giving people I know. She told me about Dan and Emmylou going on a Wrecking Ball 20-year reunion (really, that long??!) tour and I’m pretty sure that when she did, I turned into a giddy-faced, glee-filled 18-year-old again.

Giddy.

But she went above and beyond. See, she knows Dan and Emmylou and ended up getting us all-access passes. Well, shoot, y’all! I don’t get too impressed by many celebs – but Emmylou??!! Holy heck. I got to meet her and Dan and tell them the profound heart-filling effect that they had on my family with that record. It was SO special.

It meant the world to me. And I met the most magical people.

Magical folks - LA meets Nashville

Magic just seems to follow Lindsey Vaerst around – even when she can’t see it – and sometimes, I’m lucky enough to have it spill over into mine.
Thank you, my precious friend. This is a lifetime pass gift – meaning that you can’t give me anything ever again. What a memorable – and magical – night! I thank you.

LOW: Oh, just sick…for a day

Sick. But so much healthier after.

I’ll keep this simple. I got sick. I got sick because I was going non-stop and my body rebelled and declared, “I NEED A BREAK!!” So I rested Friday and most of Saturday and (as Gomer Pyle used to say), “Surprise, surprise!” I felt better. I stayed in bed and read the rest of Mindy Kaling’s book (GOD, IT’S GOOD!!!), and ended up working on my book. Oh, what’s that, you say? You didn’t know I had a book? Well, I’m 1794 words in so I do now, folks! It was an important reminder to both listen to my body and take a little bit more me-time every week to see what creative magic might be stirred up. As always, the lesson of the low outweighed the low itself.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks:

High-Low: It Takes A Village & Too Much Everything

Posted on March 24, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

HIGH: It Takes A Village

High-Low: It Takes A Village

Well, you may have noticed that I took a little break from BF the past few weeks. Believe me, it was not voluntary. I was in the throes of celebrating our BeautyFrosting 2nd bloggiversary and threw quite a fête here at The Cupcake Palace to celebrate (more on that later).

With the help of my mom, friends, assistants and generous sponsors, I “single-handedly” threw the party that I had dreamed of to celebrate 2 years of BeautyFrosting. See, that’s the joke! Everyone said, “Wow! How did you manage to pull off a party at your home for 70 people when it’s just you working full-time at it?” Well, here’s the thing. I may be a one-man shop but I’ve got a whole host of people who help it run smoothly and make it so much more fun. From friends to part-time assistants to my champions cheering me on, I never feel like I’m alone in making my dreams come true.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who believe in the beauty of my dreams and who encourage me to keep doing my best and giving my all every single day. I am beyond thankful for them.

So, my high this week is all of you folks who have supported me the past 2 years, who helped make this dream of a “BF Turns 2″ bloggiversary party a reality and to the people who inspire me every day. There are SO many of you but let’s just start with the party people who made my party a seamless and beautiful affair: Mom, Vanessa York, Chris Richards, Lindsey Vaerst, Joey LiMandri, Lindy Ryan, Heather Adair, Rosy Usagi and Malina Li. Between stuffing giftbags, hanging decorations, shopping at HomeGoods, bringing ice, waiting for people to arrive, offering to help in any way and offering moral support, y’all make it all so much sweeter!

LOW: Too Much Everything

I’ll be honest with ya, here. People often ask me how I do it all – “How do you come up with ideas to write about? How do you go to so many events? How do you stay so positive? How do you make time for spin class? How do you make time for makeup? How do you find time to bake with all of that going on?” And when they ask me this, I always feel really flattered. I’m so happy that I make a busy life seem so easy and fun. But let me tell you, y’all, it’s not all rainbows and cupcakes and puppy dogs all the time. The past month has taught me a lot. The main thing is this little life lesson above – “You can do anything but you can’t do everything.“ Yep. I hear ya. LOUD AND CLEAR.

For a person who really thrives when they’re multi-tasking as much as I do, it’s really hard to know your limits. And it’s even harder for me to say no to a friend or business associate. But, by golly, I am learning – albeit, verrrry slowly – that I cannot do everything, no matter how hard I try. I can’t do it all. I can’t please ’em all and I can’t be it all to everyone. But I sure can try to do my healthy best.

So today I am trying to focus on the things that I can do, the ways I can improve the lives of those around me and am trying to let go of the superfluous so I can have a little bit more me-time every now and then. Because when your business is, well, you, the lines can between work and play can get pretty blurry.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is!

High-Low 2/17/14: Valentine’s Fun & Forced Relaxation

Posted on February 17, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

HIGH: Valentine’s Fun!

I celebrated Valentine’s a little early on Thursday by hosting a sweet and inspired shoot here at The Cupcake Palace. And I loved celebrating the sweetest of days with my sweet – and talented – friend, Lindsey Vaerst.

We had a wine tasting dinner to attend for BeautyFrosting – later that evening – but first we had a little girly fun doing the shoot, sipping some pink champagne and nibbling on some sweets. Then we had some girl talk as we got ready for the big night ahead. What a perfect day!

This is how my Valentine's looked. How did you celebrate? Hope it was a sweet one! (*heart champagne flutes by World Market)

LOW: Forced Relaxation

My low this week? I got a bad case of food poisoning. No lesson learned. Nothing positive from it. Oh wait, or is there? Yep. By being completely incapacitated for 2 days, I actually had to rest, relax, take baths, read, watch a movie and do nothing but be sick and take care of myself. Okay, universe, I get it. I GET IT. Relax more or you’ll make me relax. Point taken. And, um, no picture needed – am I right?

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

High-Low 2/10/14: Showtime & Expectations

Posted on February 10, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

With everything that happened in the last week, it felt like it was more like a month! Wednesday was one of the most challenging days I’ve ever had because literally everything that could go wrong went wrong. I had two band members who had to take their loved ones to the hospital unexpectedly for dire emergencies and there was a world of changes going on that I just was not prepared for.

But then there was so much sweetness that I thought my heart would burst. Ah, life, how you love to throw the curveballs and the cupcakes at us all at the same time. Without further ado, my weekly High-Low.

HIGH: Showtime

Beau’s Debut! Well, now that People Magazine announced it last week, I can announce that my heart just got a little bit fuller – and pinker – thanks to the birth of Beau Katherine Brower!!

HIGH: Beau's Debut!! I got to visit her on her first day at the hospital and I fell instantly in love. Swoon.

Beau was born to some of my best friends, Ned and Sarah Brower (also known as actress Sarah Jane Morris) on Saturday, March 1st and she is just gorgeous and perfect! And since they waited to find out the sex, it was the sweetest of surprises that she was a girl!!! I went to meet Miss Beau and, of course, couldn’t show up to the hospital empty-handed! So I swung by my fave baby store, Bel Bambini on Robertson and picked up some pink to properly celebrate Beau’s debut! I’m utterly smitten and am determined to spoil her rotten. As you can see, it’s already started.

Pink presents for Beau from Bel Bambini - I couldn't help myself! Girls are so fun!!

Hotel Cafe As many of you may know – and many may not – I am a singer/songwriter. I’m not full-time anymore at all but I still write and love to play my favorite venue here in LA (and my home away from home), The Hotel Cafe.

High: Hotel Cafe Show 2/8/14 - For The Lovers, Love-Hopeful, Heartbreakers & Heartbroken

I had the pleasure of playing this past Saturday and it was just the most fun! I got to play with some of my all-time favorite musicians and friends including Ben Peeler, Garrett Hanson, Joel Martin, Jon Button and Malcolm Cross. I realized it had been 10 months since I’d played there and that is 10 months too long. I love to title my shows so this Valentine’s one was called “For The Lovers, Love-Hopeful, Heartbreakers and Heartbroken.” One could argue that I was workin’ through some pretty powerful emotions up on that stage but I worked it out through singing my heart out, dancing and seeing 100 of my friends’ faces smiling at me from the audience. It was just perfect. And it’s gotta happen more often. It does my soul so much good.

This photo perfectly captures my joy of the evening. Just bliss. (*Dress is Plenty by Tracy Reese for Anthropologie and sideways cross necklace is by Flea Market Girl)

LOW: Expectations

Low: Expectations

Let me start by saying that I am so grateful for the week I’ve had and the amazing people that I have in my life. Whenever I express the lows, it’s not to complain but rather to really experience these lows so that I might see the highs more clearly and appreciate them more richly. This week I let myself be let down by a few people. What do I mean by that? I mean that I had some expectations of people and well, they fell short. Not the people but my expectations. I was expressing my annoyance and hurt with my dear friend (and talk show host/therapist) Matt Marr and he blew my mind once again with his insight and wisdom. He said to me, “Expectations are future resentments.” Word. They sure are.

And with me, this goes tenfold. I don’t have many pet peeves but one of them is when someone makes a plan with me and cancels or doesn’t follow through. It gets under my skin like nothin’ else. Those closest to me know this and try to operate accordingly. But what I’m realizing is that I need to lower my expectations a bit. People are human. Things come up. People make mistakes. I’m not saying it’s going to happen today but an ongoing goal of mine is to become a little less rigid and a little more forgiving in terms of people who don’t meet my expectations as I think they should. Thank you for these thought-provoking words, Matty.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

High-Low 2/3/14: Honest Turns 2 & The Bad Ones

Posted on February 3, 2014 by BeautyFrosting

HIGH: Honest Turns 2

Celebrating The Honest Company's 2nd birthday with one of my besties, Lindsey

I’m not talking about a kiddo’s birthday party here although this celebration was all about the kids! I was honored to attend The Honest Company‘s 2nd birthday party this past Thursday at their headquarters in Santa Monica. With party planning & whimsical details from Details Details, delicious catering, yummy wine and sparkling wine from my favorite, One Hope Wine and a most-delicious cake by Cakes by Rumy, the fête was just the sweetest high of my week.

Jessica Alba with The Honest Company's 2nd birthday cake by Cakes by Rumy

Partners – Golden Globe-nominated actress and mom, Jessica Alba and former CEO of Healthy Child Healthy World & father, Christopher Gavigan – formed The Honest Company to, well, keep things honest. These dreamers-turned-doers turned their desire as consumers for a brand based on integrity into an integrity-based brand for all consumers. They say it best themselves, “We tried to think of all the qualities we would want in a dream brand – savvy style, sustainability, and extraordinary service & convenience all wrapped in a passion for social goodness, tied with a bow of integrity and sprinkled with a little cheeky fun.” That’s exactly what they have created in The Honest Company.

Champagne & cake to celebrate a magical company!

At the party, I was delighted to be treated to a mini shopping spree with a chance to try a wide range of The Honest Company‘s products. I picked up a good cross-section of their products and I can’t wait to try! In fact, I was so excited about the organic, vegan, cruelty-free bubble bath picked up that I had to take a bath with it that very night!

Goodies from my mini shopping spree at the Honest Turns 2 party!

By visiting The Honest Company‘s headquarters, getting to see the founders with their families and getting to take part in this celebration, I realized just how magical this company and its founders and family of employees are. They create good products, do good for others and are just good people. How could I not support a company like this 100%. Happy Birthday, Honest! I’m happy to know – and celebrate – you!

LOW: The Bad Ones

Low: The Bad Ones

There must have been something in the water last week because many of my extended chats with friends consisted of us being challenged by bad boys, bad friends, bad jobs, bad situations. So when I attended an Obagi brunch at Soho House last Thursday and they asked all of us to share what sin we’ve committed that we wouldn’t commit again and step into the photo booth with this admission of guilt, I realized I had to state the obvious. The sin? Bad boys. The promise? No more bad boys.

Now, hold your judgment. I have never been one of those girls who liked bad boys. I avoided the bad boys like the plague. For the most part, I have always liked the good guys. You know the ones – the ones who behave as men should. So what exactly do I mean by that? Oh, the men who are thoughtful, kind, smart, creative, considerate, that sort of thing. The kind that opens doors, keeps plans, makes you feel special and considers how their actions would make you feel. But after dating a seemingly bad boy once in my life and commiserating with girlfriends about these bad, bad boys and their actions or lack thereof, I had to ask myself and my friends this question. “Why do we pick them? Or do they pick us?”

It made me recall that quote from that glorious book/film, The Perks of Being A Wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” So does that make my girlfriends and I feel better or worse? Are we picking bad boys, bad friends, bad jobs, bad situations because we actually think that we deserve it? Gosh, I hope not. My friends are too beautiful – on the inside and out – to sell themselves so short.

Oh wait. And so am I.

I love it when a lesson plays a trick on you like that.

xoxo,
BF