Perfectly Imperfect: A Hanger String Aint No Thing

Something I learned from this pic I just saw up on @GuestOfAGuest of me at a @PeroniUSA event?
Mayyyybe someone should have told me that my hanger string was all hanging out.

A hanger string aint no thing. You gotta be able to control what you can, and leave - and laugh at -the rest.

A hanger string aint no thing. You gotta be able to control what you can, and leave – and laugh at -the rest.

Ok. Let’s get real here for a sec, folks.
There are plenty of perfect pics of people in perfectly cute outfits all over social media and the internet.
But here’s some realness.
It’s life. It’s imperfect. It’s real. And, let’s be honest…it’s hilarious!
I find that being able to laugh at myself – pretty much daily – is one of the best gifts I was ever given. And I do it OFTEN!
Life is so beautiful in all of its imperfections. Control what you can.
Cherish what matters.
And, let go – and laugh about – the rest.

 

xoxo,

Dawn

High-Low: It Takes A Village & Too Much Everything

HIGH: It Takes A Village

High-Low: It Takes A Village

Well, you may have noticed that I took a little break from BF the past few weeks. Believe me, it was not voluntary. I was in the throes of celebrating our BeautyFrosting 2nd bloggiversary and threw quite a fête here at The Cupcake Palace to celebrate (more on that later).

With the help of my mom, friends, assistants and generous sponsors, I “single-handedly” threw the party that I had dreamed of to celebrate 2 years of BeautyFrosting. See, that’s the joke! Everyone said, “Wow! How did you manage to pull off a party at your home for 70 people when it’s just you working full-time at it?” Well, here’s the thing. I may be a one-man shop but I’ve got a whole host of people who help it run smoothly and make it so much more fun. From friends to part-time assistants to my champions cheering me on, I never feel like I’m alone in making my dreams come true.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who believe in the beauty of my dreams and who encourage me to keep doing my best and giving my all every single day. I am beyond thankful for them.

So, my high this week is all of you folks who have supported me the past 2 years, who helped make this dream of a “BF Turns 2″ bloggiversary party a reality and to the people who inspire me every day. There are SO many of you but let’s just start with the party people who made my party a seamless and beautiful affair: Mom, Vanessa York, Chris Richards, Lindsey Vaerst, Joey LiMandri, Lindy Ryan, Heather Adair, Rosy Usagi and Malina Li. Between stuffing giftbags, hanging decorations, shopping at HomeGoods, bringing ice, waiting for people to arrive, offering to help in any way and offering moral support, y’all make it all so much sweeter!

 LOW: Too Much Everything

LOW: You can do anything but you can't do EVERYTHINGI’ll be honest with ya, here. People often ask me how I do it all – “How do you come up with ideas to write about? How do you go to so many events? How do you stay so positive? How do you make time for spin class? How do you make time for makeup? How do you find time to bake with all of that going on?” And when they ask me this, I always feel really flattered. I’m so happy that I make a busy life seem so easy and fun. But let me tell you, y’all, it’s not all rainbows and cupcakes and puppy dogs all the time. The past month has taught me a lot. The main thing is this little life lesson above – “You can do anything but you can’t do everything. Yep. I hear ya. LOUD AND CLEAR.

For a person who really thrives when they’re multi-tasking as much as I do, it’s really hard to know your limits. And it’s even harder for me to say no to a friend or business associate. But, by golly, I am learning  – albeit, verrrry slowly – that I cannot do everything, no matter how hard I try. I can’t do it all. I can’t please ’em all and  I can’t be it all to everyone. But I sure can try to do my healthy best.

So today I am trying to focus on the things that I can do, the ways I can improve the lives of those around me and am trying to let go of the superfluous so I can have a little bit more me-time every now and then. Because when your business is, well, you, the lines can between work and play can get pretty blurry.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is! 

High-Low 1/27/14: Sweeter Than A Cupcake & Sitting With Sadness (thanks, Louis C.K.!)

Here’s my High-Low this week. It was a week filled with sweetness, gratitude, love and light and a little bit of sadness. I just consider myself lucky that I get to feel the entire range of emotions. I’m realizing that there are many people who either physically can’t feel these emotions or have blocked themselves to where they’re devoid of feeling emotions on such a scale. So while that means that I’ll have my share of ups and downs over the years, it also means that I’ll be able to continue to share my High-Lows with you all. Lucky ducks…

HIGH: SWEETER THAN A CUPCAKE

HIGH: SWEETER THAN A CUPCAKE - "I Dream To…" Mentor Day with Step Up Women's Network at the Dermalogica headquarters

This past Saturday morning, I showed up at the Dermalogica headquarters in Carson, California to participate in Step Up Women’s Network “I Dream To…” Mentor Day. I am a visionary member of Step Up Women’s Network and am a big fan because their sole mission is to help inspire girls from under-resourced communities to live up to their full potential. They have done this so effectively that 100% of Step Up graduates over the past 4 years have been accepted to and currently attend college.

I had no idea what to expect and to be honest, I was a little nervous. But after meeting my mentee, “S.”, all of my nervousness went away. We were very different and yet we had qualities at our cores in common which bonded us.

My goal going into the day was to encourage, inspire and motivate her. So imagine my surprise, after spending the day together when I was the one tearing up as I read her letter of gratitude to me and realizing how much she had taught me.

I learned more from this 15-year-old in one day than I have learned from most people in the past month. And by sharing with her some of my successes, struggles and strategies, I actually learned lessons that I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

I am so thankful to have met S. and to have been able to share this day together. My hope is that she took as much away from the day with me as I took from my time spent with her.

 

LOW: SITTING WITH SADNESS

BeautyFrosting quotes, BeautyFrosting

LOW: SITTING WITH SADNESS (Thanks, Louis C.K.!!)

This past week – like so many other weeks we have in life – I had a bump in the road. I felt sad, disappointed, confused and totally out of my comfort zone. As the extrovert that I am, my initial instinct was to pick up the phone and call a close friend. Usually, that’s what I do. I call my Mom or call or hang out with one of my best friends and share my woes with anyone that I trust. I tell them what’s going on so they can help me work through it and by the end of the call or visit, I get over it and feel better…somewhat.

But this time was different. As I was picking up the phone, I remembered that chat that Louis C.K. had on Conan about cell phones, sadness and basically how it all ties back into our fear of sadness and our fear of being alone. He told a story about getting really sad in his car while listening to Bruce Springsteen’s “Jungleland” (best song ever!!) and how his first instinct was to text like 50 people. But instead of doing that, he took contrary action and just let the sadness hit him like a truck and pulled over and bawled his eyes out. He said that afterwards, he actually felt better because it was like there were antibodies of happiness that came along to counter the extreme sadness.

So, I tried it. I sat in the sadness and let it take me over. I cried like a baby on my bed. I let myself feel out of control. And, well, it worked. I’m not saying that it made me feel all better but it certainly helped me get a little bit more comfortable in my own skin that day. And I truly feel blessed that I get to have those sad moments because they make the happy ones that much sweeter.

xoxo,

BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is! 

In-My-Tub-Tuesday: Guest post by NamiMScott.com – Taking Care of your skin

Happy Tuesday, BeautyFrosting beauties!
For In-My-Tub-Tuesday today, I’m thrilled today to share my favorite new blog with you:
NamiMScott.com

You may recognize Nami as my most-featured Whatcha’ Wearin’ Wednesday girl. While being one of the most stylish people I know (she’s a big style icon for me), she is also a ridiculously gifted writer, a talented illustrator & art designer, an amazing photographer, a beauty & hair expert and a good friend to boot. She’s also an amazing shoe shopping fairy godmother who helped me pick out some new shoes yesterday!

You might also recognize her from the interview she did with me for her blog, LAdiesHer sage advice has led me to referring to her as “Naminy Cricket”.

And now you can receive some of her sage advice too. Well, actually, this particular advice is courtesy of her mom, Mama Matsuo.

Enjoy! And then head on over to NamiMScott.com to see other musings this muse has going on! I love her to bits.

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Mama Matsuo Musing #2: The Skin You’re In

It’s time for another installment of “Mama Matsuo’s Musings” where I get to tell you about my chic Japanese mother’s sage advice. So, here we go…

I know what you’re thinking. “Duh.”It’s something we’re told to do all the time. Fashion magazines, health magazines, beauty blogs. Everyone is talking about skin. It’s our biggest organ and the one people see right away. What kind of idiot wouldn’t take a minute to give it a little TLC? No one’s an idiot. Life is crazy enough as is, so it’s understandable that doing all this extra self-care is the last thing on your list of priorities. (It’s probably somewhere between getting your tweezers sharpened & going through that stack of mail you’ve been meaning to organize – guilty as charged.)
But, seriously, skincare can take up precious hours of your day and you have to be diligent. None of that “I’m too tired to take my make-up off. I need to just sleep.” or the famous express washing of the face that’s basically you scrubbing at your face like it’s a washboard for 30 seconds and rinsing it off with the foolish assumption that you’ve rid your pores of all those youth-killing offenders.
I learned very early on, by watching my mother, that taking care of your skin is a process and one that, when you get into it, you can really enjoy and luxuriate in. And I’m not just talking about your face, folks. You need to take care of all the skin on your body. I mean, having a youthful face and a leathery beef-jerky-esque body would be a little disturbing, no? Yes. Yes, it would be disturbing. Don’t be that person who disturbs other people.
So, let’s start with the steps:
For your body 

Dead Skin Demolition:

I didn’t pick this up from my mother, but she would approve. Dry brushing is basically a way to slough off dead skin pre-shower while your skin is still…dry. (Yes, it’s not a misnomer.) Using a brush, you gently brush the skin (see? really not a misnomer) in small strokes from toes to chest and fingers to chest. You want the brushing to always go towards the heart. Don’t know if this is an old wives tale, but I’m willing to keep with tradition. Think of it this way, scabs come off easier when they’re dry. Dead skin is the same. 

Here’s the Scrub:

I use a good ol’ exfoliating towel in the shower. The same kind of towel I’ve been using since I was about 5. They have them at Japanese markets. Just textured enough to catch any remaining dead skin, but not so textured that you come out of your shower looking like a burn victim. You want to get the dead skin off…NOT the live skin. That can stay. 

Hot & Steamy…and Moisturized:

Wait! Do not open the bathroom door just yet! Dry yourself off and let the steam hang out for a little while so you can properly moisturize your body. The minute you open that door, that loving steamy air is gone and in its place, mean, drying, cold, relentlessly harsh air that will steal your body’s moisture and NEVER GIVE IT BACK. Protect yourself from that situation by slathering on the moisturizer and locking that water into your skin before opening the door. Also, invest in a good body moisturizer. “Good” doesn’t mean expensive. “Good” means “works for my skin type.” I use LIERAC Hydrofilian Anti-Dessechement.

Something’s Afoot:

Oh, puns! How I love puns. I just want to say, don’t forget about your feet. We’re so busy standing on them that we forget to take care of them. Get a pumice rock and give your footsies a good exfoliating at least once a week. They’ll thank you. Trust me.

For your face: 
Remove the Excess:
Before you start getting into washing your face, remove all the extra gunk GENTLY. No using semi-decent make-up remover and then staring at your eyelashes a centimenter away from the mirror to neurotically pick off bits of waterproof mascara. I’m actually a big fan of straight-up jojoba oil (you can get it at your local natural foods shop). A tiny little puddle in your palm and a dip of your finger tip will melt through any type of make-up. So, use it to remove all the excess stuff first.  
No Express Lanes:
Remember that thing I was telling you about earlier? About scrubbing your face for 30 seconds and then calling it a wash? (MORE PUNS!) Don’t do it. First, get yourself a facewash that you love. (And not because it smells good, but because it works well for your skin.) If you have dry skin, consider a cleansing milk or cleansing oil. For oilier skin, consider a lathering kind. I use Shiseido’s White Lucent Brightening Cleansing Foam. I lather it up really well in my palm and then gently apply it to my face, keeping away from my eyes and massaging in small circles. I concentrate on my nose area because, girl, I’ve got some serious blackhead issues there. Do that for about a minute. Trust me. You want a real cleaning. Then I take a gentle swipe at my eye area (no heavy rubbing here, please) and rinse with lukewarm water. Soda Scrub (a Dub Dub):
So, I’m a wimp and chemical peels scare me. I don’t like melting things off my face and microdermabrasion always leave me looking like I stood in a windy desert for two hours (complete with particles lodged in my teeth & eyebrows.) So, I go the old fashion way with a little secret. I use baking soda as a facial scrub. Once a week, I gently rub it on my face before I wash it. Just put some in your palm, add a tiny bit of water to make it pasty (I know, it sounds lovely) and then start rubbing…just not too hard. The skin on your face is already a little thin, so don’t go having a massage party. It’s still abrasive. Then rinse and wash as usual. Trust me, your face will be porcelain smooth.It’s All or Nothin’:When it’s time to moisturize your face, don’t skimp. The worst is being all, “oh, this moisturizer is so expensive, I should just use half the amount I need. It’ll last longer that way.” Yeah, great. Your moisturizer will last twice as long, but will be half as effective. I, personally, need to slather it on at night. Partly because my face gets dry naturally and because I live in Los Angeles where there’s no such thing as humidity. I become, in essence, slightly shriveled.. Constant fans & air conditioning don’t help the cause, but further my downward spiral into dehydration, rendering me a more wrinkled, slim-jimmy version of myself. Not good. If you’re going to use moisturizer…use it. F’real. I’m a fan of Shiseido’s White Lucent Brightening Moisturizing Emulsion for night & Lierac Intiatic Fluid for day. (No giving me flack on not using SPF. That’ll come later down the list!)Eye Creams:If you’re prone to a crow’s foot or ten, consider an eye cream. I actually like crows feet. I feel like it’s a dignified and honest sign that someone has smiled a great deal in their lifetime. I probably need to use eye cream, but haven’t invested in one yet. If someone has a recommendation, I’m all ears. My mother is probably shaking her head right now. Yes, yes. I know. I need to get eye cream. Geez. OK!

For Your Skin Overall
You’ve Heard It All Before:
Ready for the obvious stuff now? Hey, eat healthy & keep hydrated! (Duh. Yes, I know, but it’s part of Mama Matsuo’s list, so I’m putting it in here.) Your skin is your body’s health billboard. Eat well, take your vitamins, and drink tons of water and you’ll become the Vegas of health in no time. Ok, you knew this already, so I can move on.
Enough of the Puff:
Don’t smoke. (Insert a long sigh here.) I’m guilty of this. I know, I know. Horrible. Dastardly. How could I? I actually quit for a year, but one trip to Paris did me in and I was sprinting to the Gare de Lyon by the evening of my first night, so badly did I was to have a cigarette with my cafe creme. I can beat myself up over it all day long, but the bottom line is that I know I need to quit and if you haven’t picked up the habit, then awesome. If you are smoking, make like me and promise yourself you’ll quit soon for the sake of yourself & everyone around you. Mama Matsuo is very displeased about this one.
(Don’t) Burn, Baby, Burn:
Sunscreen. Yes, you know that already too. I’m a big believer in BB cream. Coverage, extra moisture, and SPF (plus some other antioxidants & fun stuff depending on which one you try – I love Dr. Jart+’s Premium Beauty Balm SPF 45 PA+++) in one product. Perfect. Slap that on and you’ve evened your skintone, blocked out the sun’s rays, and given yourself a little extra protection from dryness. And I’m a fan of Aveeno’s Continuous Protection, SPF 70 sunblock for the rest of me (as much as I want that beef jerky body – that was a joke.)
Hot, Hot, Horrible:
Hey, I love a hot shower as much as the next person, but it turns out that that’s a baaaad move for anyone who wants to have hydrated skin. Hot water just strips away all the essential oils and leaves you parched. So, do yourself a favor and shower with lukewarm water. It’s just as good at rinsing away the soap, but it won’t rinse away your youth! (Yes, I know that was a bit dramatic, but I’m trying to make a point here.)
Aaaaaand I think that covers it. With enough practice, you’ll be able to do all of these things in your sleep. Or, at least, I hope you learn to because I still think that showering is such a waste of time. Why can’t I just have an auto-clean button and do other stuff in the meantime? (Are you getting a better idea of how neurotic I am yet?)
Anyway, why do I feel like this is such important advice? Because my mother, despite being in her mid-60’s, still looks like she has the skin of a 30 year old. I have to concentrate really hard on pointing out any wrinkles…even when she smiles! (Ok, ok, her Asian genetics help, but still…and, NO, she hasn’t had any work done.) So, for all of you out there who haven’t taken the time to take care of your skin, it’s ok. I’m not going to chide you, but I highly suggest you start as soon as you can.
I can’t promise that every time you take care of your skin you’ll feel like you’re in some sort of beauty advertisement (cue the background music & British female voice-over talking about the newest skin technology) and I definitely won’t promise that you’ll love every minute of it. (Between an extra few minutes of sleep & properly washing my face, I still would love to choose the former.)
In the end, however, you’ll be thankful you took the time when you’re 90 & people are cooing about how you don’t look a day over 70. Now, go forth & pamper yourself like you mean it!
***
Thanks Nami!!
xoxo,
BF
BF Asks: What sage beauty advice did your mom pass on to you that you have never forgotten?