What you are close to…is reflected by you…is who you are

Honoree Oprah Winfrey at the Variety Power of Women luncheon at the Beverly Wilshire, Friday, October 9th, 2015

This picture may be fuzzy, but my memory of it will not be. I had someone I worked with recently tell me that they didn’t follow me on social media, because seeing what I was doing made them feel like they should be doing that, and made them feel inadequate.

As much as this hurt my heart to hear, I felt that it was an excellent learning experience for both of us. I told them that rather than viewing it as something they’re not getting to do now, to view it as something they can – and will – do in the near future, if they so want it, and work hard for it.

I have always believed that when those feelings of jealousy and inadequacy come up for us (and they do come up for us all), that instead of viewing them as challenges or roadblocks, we should see them as reflections – reflections of who we are, what we can do, and who we can become.
What you are close to…is reflected by you…is who you are.

As I sat there in awe yesterday at the @Unite4Good table at the Variety‪#‎PowerOfWomen‬ luncheon, looking at & listening to one of the people that I most want to be like – Oprah Winfrey – I realized that the closer I get, the shinier that reflection is, and the bigger and more realistic my dreams become.

As I told Dress for Success Worldwide – West a few months ago, “Rather than seeing things as a ‘have vs. have not,’ situation, I view everyone else’s success as a direct reflection of my own success. Their dreams coming true are a reflection of my dreams coming true. And, the hard work they’ve put in as the reflection of the work I have yet to do.”

Never has this been more clear than hearing this truly powerful woman share her story. Thanks, Oprah, for inspiring us all, and letting us reflect your light.

Life is like an escalator…

Oh, just me on the escalator of life...

Oh, just me on the escalator of life…

Life really is like an escalator. You ride it up and down and back up again, stepping out onto different floors, to take in all the options, only to sometimes find yourself back on the same floor you started on, looking at a whole different season of options, through a different pair of rose-colored sunglasses.
That’s how I feel about Nordstrom.

My first job in LA was at Nordstrom. I worked as a Trish McEvoy makeup artist at Westside Pavillion and Topanga Canyon. What I remember most is how I so terribly yearned for the day when I would “make it”… meaning that I would be working as a full-time creative, with no one to answer to.

Funny thing, life. Tonight, as I toasted the grand opening celebration of the grand new Nordstrom Del Amo – as a guest this timeout Nordstrom & the charity, Walk With Sally – I could feel that girlish spirit alive and radiating through me. I recalled such fond memories of kind customers, comedic quips of my counter co-horts, jotting down my dreams in my journal at lunch, calling casting directors on breaks, and just biding my time, yearning for the day when those days would be but a memory.

Well, now they are. And, I miss that girl. A lot. But the one thing I’ve learned in this cyclical little life of mine is to not be so busy looking for what’s up ahead, that you miss what’s right there in front of you. Look at each step on the escalator you’re on, even as you’re climbing on to the next one.

And, here’s a little hint: You ALWAYS have someone to answer to, not least of all…yourself. And, I’ve found that that chick is the toughest boss of all.

Thank you for a beautiful night, Nordstrom and Walk With Sally. My heart is grateful for our memories then, our present now, and out future ahead.

xoxo,
Dawn

Treat ’em: Treating Drybar To Donuts For No Reason At All

Treat 'em: Treating the Drybar on West Third to Saturday morning goodies

Treat ’em: Treating the Drybar on West Third to Saturday morning goodies

Random acts of kindness are seriously my jam. They just make people happier and can improve someone’s day (or life) just like that (snapping 👌).

On Saturday, Miss Ellie and I left the house for our Drybar appointment and – miracle of all miracles in LA – found ourselves with 13 minutes to spare.

So, we headed on over to the donut shop, picked up these beauties and decided to start the day of the Drybar stylists and staff off right with one of my #DailyDelights.

Their bellies feel good and my heart feels even better. Perfect start to a sweet, sweet Saturday. 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

xoxo,
Dawn

Like The Necklace Says…INSPIRE

Like the necklace says, I have a job to do on this earth: INSPIRE

Like the necklace says, I have a job to do on this earth: INSPIRE

A few years ago I attended an event that my friend Nicole Myden hosted for her jewelry client, Nalukai, at the time. I wore the necklace they gifted me with for a solid year. Then I placed it on my jewelry stand, where it has been hanging, lost and forgotten, amongst all the shiny things I’ve accrued since.

Yesterday, I watched my friend, Gabby Bernstein’s video, in which she spoke about sharing your gifts and not feeling like a fraud doing so. She talked about speaking your truth and not feeling guilty for being paid for the gifts you have to offer. I so needed to hear that.

As I got into bed last night after sharing a deeply personal Sunday night eclipse experience, I went to turn off my bedside light and spotted the Nalukai necklace, where it has been hanging on my jewelry stand for over a year. I haven’t noticed it there before. On it is inscribed: “INSPIRE.”

The wording on this necklace never spoke to me. All the guests had received different ones as gifts and I remember wanting “love” or something. As I looked at it, I got a chill – the good kind – as I realized that that is EXACTLY what I am here to do: to inspire, as much and as OFTEN as possible.

Here’s to an inspiring week for us all!

xoxo,

Dawn

Just A Girl And Her Dog…And The Moon

Just a girl and her dog, watching the Total Lunar Eclipse/Super Blood Moon…and waiting patiently for new beginnings

Just a girl and her dog, watching the Total Lunar Eclipse/Super Blood Moon…and waiting patiently for new beginnings

I know that I’ll remember this night forever.

Just a girl and her dog, sitting on the side of her building, feet dangling precariously off the ledge, looking up at the Total Lunar Eclipse, watching the sky turn to a plummy hue, right as the moon says good night.

I’ve read that Total Lunar Eclipses are times of major shifts which bring endings to certain aspects of our lives, in preparation for new beginnings. One of my best friends captured this moment right before he told me that he’s considering a big life change. There was discussion, there were hugs and there were tears.

This has been such a strange 6 weeks, filled with old chapters ending and entirely new books beginning.

And I don’t know what any of it means. I also know that I don’t have to.

That’s not my job.

My job is to sit here on the ledge, with my feet dangling off, soaking up the moment, not knowing what’s above or below me, in front of or behind me, trusting that whatever it is, I am exactly where I need to be. I am being pointed in the right direction every day, while the sun shines on me in the daytime and the moon winks at me come night.

May this eclipse bring us new beginnings bigger than we could have dreamed.

 

xoxo,
Dawn

Turning Your Dream Into A Reality: Start Today

12019857_10156084461420302_1513330979968961001_n

I often speak to groups about how you can live a life that delights you – the kind of life that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning, and makes you rest easy at night. Inevitably, someone always asks this at the end, during the Q&A session: “But, how can I live a life I love and pursue my dreams if I have a job I don’t love and my day is filled with responsibilities, family and friends? There’s just simply no time!” Well, this picture above is a touching example of exactly how you accomplish this.

Yesterday morning, I was walking Miss Ellie in my neighborhood, and I saw this man taking pictures of trees, leaves and flowers across the street. He was dressed in scrubs, so I would imagine he is a doctor, nurse, physician’s assistant, orderly, or hospital worker. He was just on his walk to catch the bus, and stopped on his daily commute to capture some beauty along the way.

I could create a hundred scenarios of what this man’s life is like, but all we really need to know is this: he bought an 8mm camera to carry with him on his commute, so he could take pictures and do what he loves, in the spare few moments he had available to him. 


So, my message to you today? Don’t “wait” until the time is right to do what you love.

Start TODAY.

Do one thing today that gets you closer to your dreams.

I used to dream of living a fully creative life, where I could work from home, drive to studios, attend events and make a difference philanthropically. Now, that’s been my life for about 3 years. What many people may NOT know is that I always had a day job until 2012. I spent my free time before work, at lunch and after work, pursuing the dreams I really wanted, while working a job I was truly grateful to have, because it allowed me the means and freedom to pursue those dreams.

Did I ever feel resentful that my dreams hadn’t come true and I had to work a job I didn’t love? Heck, yeah. Every single day. But, I looked forward to the free time I did have that I could use to dedicate to my dreams.

I’ve had many dreams over the years, and some have come true, some haven’t, and some new dreams have been borne of broken dreams. But, I always carved out time for them, and left room for them to grow.

So, today, make the decision to use your time wisely. Take those few minutes in the car and record some book ideas you have, scribble some art while you’re eating lunch at work, or listen to an inspiring podcast while you go for your run. While it might seem like your dreams are ever so far away, the truth is they’re right inside you, just waiting to come alive.

 

xoxo,
Dawn

Dear 15 Me

Hey there!
Do you remember being 15? The insecurities, the peer pressure, the awkwardness?

No? Well, then consider yourself lucky.
It’s hard out there for teens, and I want to do something about it.
While there’s no time machine to take us back to 15 to correct our thinking back then, we at #Dear15Me hope our past stories and struggles, and current strengths and hindsight vision will help inspire – and make the road a little easier – for teens to walk today.
Sometimes we all just need to hear these two words: "You're Okay." Won't you share the words that encourage you?

Sometimes we all just need to hear these two little words words: “YOU’RE OKAY.”

Bonus? Those who have participated, thus far, tell me that sharing their stories has been super cathartic, and has helped boost their confidence today.

Yep. This is actually a win-win movement that changes both the lives of others, and yourself.

Here’s the scoop:
How does it work?
It’s really simple. And there are two easy choices to get involved, using the power of social media.
CHOICE A
1) Post a picture of yourself at 15 (or any teen age), with a caption saying: “Dear 15 Me…” 
2) Follow it with what  you were feeling at that age, and most importantly..
3) What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself at 15? What would help or inspire you to get through those tough years with a little grace?
4) Share on your social media channels, ask 5 of your friends to join the movement and ask them to do the same. 
Together, we can make a difference in the confidence of today’s teens. And be sure to tag @Dear15Me and @BeautyFrosting so we can share your experiences with our social media channels.
 
 
CHOICE B
1) No picture readily available of you at 15? Don’t feel like sharing 15-year-old you with the world? No problem. Just print your choice of the “Dear 15 Me…” sign pdf below.
2) Write your piece of advice on there, and tell the world what you wish you could tell 15-year-old you in the caption. What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself at 15? What would help or inspire you to get through those tough years with a little grace?
4) Share on your social media channels, ask 5 of your friends to join the movement and ask them to do the same. 
Together, we can make a difference in the confidence of today’s teens. And be sure to follow us and tag @Dear15Me and @BeautyFrosting so we can share your experiences with our social media channels.

It’s that easy.
Below, please find examples from celebs, bloggers, influencers, myself – and others who have joined the movement – so you can get an idea of what we’re all about.
xoxo,
Dawn

Actress, Sarah Jane Morris, shares her support of the #Dear15Me movement for teens everywhere – and the future of her kids, Emmett and Beau (pictured here)!

Actress Sarah Jane Morris is on board!

Actress Sarah Jane Morris is on board

Blogger, Rachel Sarnoff of Mommy Greenest, shared her story on her blog, and it was beautiful!

Blogger, Rachel Sarnoff of Mommy Greenest, shared her story on her blog, and it was beautiful!

Blogger, Rachel Sarnoff of Mommy Greenest, shared her story on her blog, and it was beautiful!

 

Actress & Thick Dumpling Skin blogger, Lynn Chen, shared how she wished she had better spent her time in her teens, and it was deeply moving.

Actress & Thick Dumpling Skin blogger, Lynn Chen, shared how she wished she had better spent her time in her teens, and it was deeply moving.

Actress & Thick Dumpling Skin blogger, Lynn Chen, shared how she wished she had better spent her time in her teens, and it was deeply moving.

What have I learned in my life of struggles and strengths? To embrace your quirkiness. It can be the very thing that sets you apart.

I  say, "Embrace your quirkiness!"

I say, “Embrace your quirkiness!”

 

BF Asks: Are you up for the Challenge? The #Dear15Me Challenge, that is. If so, post you pic and spread the word! Want to use a current picture, holding our #Dear15Me sign. Email me at Dawn@BeautyFrosting.com and we’ll send the printable pdf files your way!

The #Dear15Me Challenge

How did you feel at 15-years-old? And what do you wish you could tell yourself at 15 if you could go back now?

#Dear15Me : Helping teens tackle their teenage years with the confidence, grace, wisdom and ease we wish we’d had.

That’s what #Dear15Me is all about. Dawn McCoy (host, creator of BeautyFrosting, and lifestyle and life empowerment expert) has created a movement where we can share our stories and struggles of when we were 15-years-old – and share our hindsight vision – to encourage teens to love and accept themselves, just as they are right now at this very moment.  *Helping teens tackle their teenage years with the confidence, grace, wisdom and ease we wish we’d had.*

So many of us say, “If I had known then, what I know now….”, so why don’t we tell teens while they’re still in it? Our goal is to start a viral movement that helps ease what can be a tough time in a teen’s life. Post a picture of yourself at 15 and your #Dear15Me message, and let teens know how you felt at 15, and what you would say to yourself if you had the chance now. Because you do. You have a chance now to help them get through this challenging time, with confidence, grace and ease. No picture of you at 15? No problem. Just post a pic of you now, holding the sign “Dear 15 Me…”and write your story and what you wish you could tell 15-year-old you in the caption.

Seeing the struggles that we went through then, how we got through them, and what we know now that we wish we had known then will inspire them to live their best lives now.

****

From Dawn:

Listen. Being a teen was hard. I remember it so clearly: the insecurities, the doubts, the fickleness, the fear, the fights with friends, the crushes, trying to please your parents, trying to impress your teachers, all of it. HARD.

But, today’s teens have it even harder. They have all of that above, plus the added pressure of social media. If there had been social media when I was in high school, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have graduated, and I think my parents would agree with me on that.

I realized just how tough it is for teens these days on a recent trip to Little Rock, Arkansas. There, I talked to the mom of a 15-year-old daughter who told me about the pain she has to see her daughter go through daily when she compares herself to others on social media. Remember that party you didn’t get invited to in 9th grade? Well, imagine having to see pictures of it on Instagram the next day. Remember the guy you had a crush on who asked out your best friend? Imagine having to see pictures of them hand-in-hand on Facebook. SUPER HARD.

That next night, I drove to my Dad’s house in Hot Springs, Arkansas and saw a picture of me at 15 years old, hanging on his wall. I saw this gorgeous girl and was shocked, because that was not the girl that I remembered. The girl I remembered was chubby, with braces and filled with nervousness and insecurity. She was scared of being too much – and not enough – all at the same time.

I ended up writing a post about it, and was overwhelmed by the comments, Facebook messages, texts and emails that I received in response. My feelings of wishing I could go back and speak to 15-year-old-me really had struck a chord. Hundreds of women wrote to me, expressing that they too look back and wish they could tell their 15-year-old selves that they were perfect as is, and that everything was going to be okay. Sometimes, that’s all we need to hear: “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

So, I’ve decided to do something about it, and start a movement. It’s called the “Dear 15 Me Challenge,” or #Dear15Me for you hashtaggers out there. #Dear15Me is a movement where we can share our stories and struggles of when we were 15-years-old – and share our hindsight vision – to encourage teens to love and accept themselves, just as they are right now at this very moment.  Helping teens tackle their teenage years with the confidence, grace, wisdom and ease we wish we’d had. Here are the details. I really hope you’ll be a part of it, and that we can help make the journey a little smoother for teens out there today.

#Dear15Me : To inspire teens and women and men, at every age, I encourage you to share what you would say to yourself at 15, having the hindsight, wisdom and experience that you do now. I urge you to 1) post a picture of yourself at 15, with a caption saying: “Dear 15 Me…” and follow it with 2) what  you were feeling at that age, and most importantly, 3) what you wish you could tell yourself at 15. It’s that easy.

No picture readily available of you at 15? No problem. Any pic of you as a teen will do, or just post a pic of you now, holding the sign “Dear 15 Me…” and write your story and what you wish you could tell 15-year-old you in the caption.

While there’s no time machine to take us back to 15 to correct our thinking then, we hope our past experiences and heartfelt words will help inspire – and make the road a little easier – for teens today. Tag 5 of your friends and ask them to do the same. Together, we can make a difference in the confidence of today’s teens. And be sure to tag @Dear15Me and @BeautyFrosting so we can share your experiences with our social media channels.

“I wish you could see what you look like to me. Don’t you know you’re made of stars? You can do anything – dance, laugh and sing. You’re carried by love. All that you see will come to be. So, what will you do, beautiful you?” (Dawn McCoy)

 

xoxo,
Dawn

Walk On: The Way The Universe Re-Routes Us

Sometimes it’s hard to walk away from something.

And, other times…it’s not.

Sometimes it's hard to walk away…and sometimes, it's not.

When you work with hundreds of people, dozens of brands, and a good chunk of charities every week, like I do, you are occasionally going to find one that’s not a fit. As a “recovering” people pleaser, that’s not always been easy. I used to spend countless time and energy, trying to bend myself every which way to fit other people’s needs. To say it was exhausting would be a grave understatement.

I now realize that when I have a problem with a person, brand or organization, it’s life telling me that they’re not a fit for me, and I’m better suited serving in another capacity somewhere else. After all, there are hundreds of thousands of options out there!

Out of the hundreds of people I have known – and worked with – on a weekly basis, for the past few years, I am proud to say that there is only 1 brand I refuse to work with (because of a very ill-mannered pr head), 1 charity I won’t consider contributing my time or money to (because of a poor communication system and lack of organization), 1 periodical that I’m reticent to work with (because they require more than they give back)…and 1 boyfriend I couldn’t be friends with (because he had unresolved issues that had nothing to do with me, but I digress). So I let them go. And that is not only okay, it’s healthy.

In the old days, I would take a disagreement or parting of ways as a personal affront. Today, I realize that it’s just the universe re-routing me to where I need to be, to make the most impactful difference I can in this world. And isn’t that what we’re all here to do?

If you’re feeling disrespect, unrest or rejection right now, think of it as a re-routing – like the way the GPS app, Waze, works on your phone. Much like that app, the universe foresees all of those roadblocks and wrecks up ahead – which we might not see in the moment – and is helping us avoid them in the future so we don’t waste any time, on the road to our dreams. When you feel unsettled and uncomfortable with a person or in a situation, the universe is actually just re-routing your travel plan to send you on the fastest route to your desired destination.

So, when you’re given a clue that you’re supposed to walk away from a roadblock to your destiny, LISTEN…and walk on, with your head held high. Yep. Just like that.

And remember: YOU’RE OKAY.

xoxo,

Dawn

Monday Gratitude: Light a candle and burn the fear away! Thank you, Matt Marr!

Host, comedian, actor, counselor and life coach, Matt Marr, is not only a good friend and neighbor to me but he is also one of my biggest daily doses of inspiration.

 

Matt Marr - a little like St.Francis. With Ebony & Ivory - his pup, Sophie Louise and my pup, Miss Ellie. The pups are BFFs but Miss Ellie can sometimes turn into Rachel McAdams from Mean Girls.

 

 

He’s one of those people who inspires you and warms your heart with just a smile and a “Hey, Sugar”. And he’s a champion of mine – and of all who know him – who believes in you and brings out the best in you. I’m so grateful to know him.

So when I was feeling a little nervous last week about some upcoming meetings, I called Matt. Rather than just giving me a few words and sending me on my way, he said he was going to come by on Saturday morning and we would have a little preparatory pow-wow. And boy, did we!

When he shared this bit of meditative wisdom, I knew I had to share it with you guys. We started with a brief meditation and we all know I don’t usually take time – or shut up long enough – to meditate. But it was the lighting of a candle – and Matt’s words – that  most helped me.

 

Light a candle, burn fear away!

 

Matt said to let all of my insecurities, fear and stress be burned away with the lighting of the candle. “This candle needs fuel to burn and we’re going to let the fuel be all of your insecurities and fears.” Every time I had a negative thought, he’d say “There it goes! Just burned away!”

After Matty left, I felt more confident, calm, self-assured and ready to take on my meetings full of promise!

Today as I did my daily morning gratitude and writing session, I lit my favorite Ruth Anaya candles. And as I did so, I said this prayer:
“With the lighting of this candle, let all of my fears, insecurities and stress be burned away.” 

Hope this helps you as much as Matty helped me!

Such a wonderful way to start a busy week!

 

xoxo,
BF

 

BF Asks: How do you reduce your stress, fears and insecurities?