Dear 15-Year-Old Me: You’re Okay

This is hanging on my dad’s office wall. Me at 15. I saw this picture at my dad’s house, and it broke my heart.

Me at 15.

I saw a gorgeous 15-year-old girl, but that’s not the 15-year-old girl I remembered.

The 15-year-old I rememberer was chubby, with braces, looked like a boy, and was much too much.

Too much, physically.

Too much curly hair.

Too much love to give.

Too much of a talker.

Too much of a singer.

Too much of an actor.

Too much of a kiss-up.

Too much for her parents.

Too much for her brother.

Too much for boys.

Too much for herself.

Too much everything.

That is not who I see now. I see someone who was just enough.

I see this picture and see a gorgeous 15-year-old, with a big personality, who was painfully insecure. More than anything, I wish I could go back and tell myself: “Embrace your curves. You’re never going to be a size 0, so stop fighting it so hard. You’re only wasting time and energy. Embrace your talents and loving spirit. You don’t need to be your big brother, best friend, or anyone else for that matter. You just need to be you. It’s enough. Don’t be afraid of being different. It’s the very thing that will change your life for the better. You’re enough. You’re special. Life is going to be so sweet. And, lastly, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

I dedicate this post to all girls in middle school and high school out there, and their parents. I promise it’s going to get better. YOU’RE okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.

xoxo,

Dawn

Monday Gratitude: Light a candle and burn the fear away! Thank you, Matt Marr!

Host, comedian, actor, counselor and life coach, Matt Marr, is not only a good friend and neighbor to me but he is also one of my biggest daily doses of inspiration.

 

Matt Marr - a little like St.Francis. With Ebony & Ivory - his pup, Sophie Louise and my pup, Miss Ellie. The pups are BFFs but Miss Ellie can sometimes turn into Rachel McAdams from Mean Girls.

 

 

He’s one of those people who inspires you and warms your heart with just a smile and a “Hey, Sugar”. And he’s a champion of mine – and of all who know him – who believes in you and brings out the best in you. I’m so grateful to know him.

So when I was feeling a little nervous last week about some upcoming meetings, I called Matt. Rather than just giving me a few words and sending me on my way, he said he was going to come by on Saturday morning and we would have a little preparatory pow-wow. And boy, did we!

When he shared this bit of meditative wisdom, I knew I had to share it with you guys. We started with a brief meditation and we all know I don’t usually take time – or shut up long enough – to meditate. But it was the lighting of a candle – and Matt’s words – that  most helped me.

 

Light a candle, burn fear away!

 

Matt said to let all of my insecurities, fear and stress be burned away with the lighting of the candle. “This candle needs fuel to burn and we’re going to let the fuel be all of your insecurities and fears.” Every time I had a negative thought, he’d say “There it goes! Just burned away!”

After Matty left, I felt more confident, calm, self-assured and ready to take on my meetings full of promise!

Today as I did my daily morning gratitude and writing session, I lit my favorite Ruth Anaya candles. And as I did so, I said this prayer:
“With the lighting of this candle, let all of my fears, insecurities and stress be burned away.” 

Hope this helps you as much as Matty helped me!

Such a wonderful way to start a busy week!

 

xoxo,
BF

 

BF Asks: How do you reduce your stress, fears and insecurities? 

Dawn’s Diary: Dreams, Destiny and Detours

When I moved to Los Angeles in the early 2000s, I wanted more than anything to act, write and sing. I felt like it was my destiny. My calling. My friend, Sarah, once told me that I was one of the most confident people she’d ever met when it came to knowing what I wanted to do.

Confident I was not. In fact, my acting teacher in Austin – Mona Lee – once told me that my lack of confidence was the only thing standing in the way between me and success. By 2002, insecurity and fear had set in and had me by the throat.

Me, age 23

 

I never felt like I was “enough” – pretty enough/thin enough/talented enough/cool enough/confident enough  – to do all of the things I wanted to do in this town. I let fear take control of the wheel and acting and writing got the brakes. My day job of shopping for Barbra Streisand and my band, Hawkeye, ended up taking center stage and all my other dreams kind of fell into the background. I thought I had missed my chance and that the life I was going to live was going to be very different from the life I had always imagined for myself.

Fast forward to 2013 and I am so grateful that what used to be my “dream day” is now my normal day. I love waking up to check emails & blog feedback, auditioning and being a paid, working writer. What have I learned since those first days in LA? It really is a 10 year town. And dreams can come true – even if they’re not just like how you imagined them. Now, I am so grateful for the time it took and for the bends in the road I navigated to get me to this point.

 

Hard at work or at play?

 

Creativity reigns supreme in my life. I am never bored. And I am utterly delighted and humbly grateful to get to do what I do daily while being surrounded by people I love who inspire me.

 

Never bored - Writing, Singing, Voiceovers, Acting

 

 

Friends always ask how I am able to stay so busy and yet be so positive. I have found that  the old adage is true –  “if you really love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life”. While I still have many dreams yet to come true and a long way to go, I am so grateful for the daily dreams that are being actualized every single day. And every day, new ones present themselves to me. Next up? Hosting. Who knew?
If you have dreams that have been cast aside due to work obligations, family, time management or the-ever-defeating fear, try taking small steps to reintroduce them back into your life.

Ask yourself today, “If I could live any other life right now, what would I be doing?” It doesn’t mean that you have to change your whole life, it’s just the first chapter in finding the best ways to reintroduce your passions back into your life and live the life you’ve always imagined. After all…
It is never too late to make your dream a reality. 

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” (Steve Jobs)

 

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What’s holding you back from going after your dreams? 

BF QOD: Break a habit…

Confidential to a friend – and to all of us who might need to hear this today.

break a habit, habits, do something that makes you insecure, insecurity, change, confidence, college, leaving, goodbyes, changing, life, family, divorce, breakups

BF QOD: Break a habit

“Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit. Do something that makes you feel insecure.”
(Piero Ferrucci)

BF QOD: Beautiful You

In BeautyFrosting's own words...Beautiful You

Happy Friday, beauties!
Today’s BF QOD is straight from the horsey’s mouth…mine!
That’s right! The quote is from “Beautiful You”, a song I wrote for my 2008 debut album, Sweet Time.

“You can do anything. Dance, laugh and sing. You’re carried by love. All that you see will come to be so what will you do…beautiful you?” (Dawn McCoy

I wrote “Beautiful You” for a few young friends I’d met and then, as it happens sometimes, I realized I was writing the words for myself.

I’d like to say I was writing them for adolescent me…but..no. I was writing them for my friends – and for that insecure girl who kept mocking me back in the mirror every night.

So I wrote it for other girls in hopes they might never meet that mean girl in the mirror.

Funny how that happens.

Enjoy them, share them and I hope they mean as much to you now as they meant to me!

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What words make you feel more beautiful and secure?