Yet again, it’s time for the most popular column on BeautyFrosting – my High-Low. *So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for the sake of reflection but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is…

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HIGH: Synchronicity

Synchronicity is defined as the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality.

Increasingly, I am starting to believe in sychronicity in our lives and that we really do in fact become what we envision. I have seen it quite a bit in my own life and although that dubious cynic in my head likes to battle the Polyanna in my heart and perk its head up when it happens, it’s becoming difficult to ignore. Here are a few reasons why the cynic isn’t winning which I was reminded of this week when I ran into my friend, Tracy McMillan at the Step Up Inspiration Awards.

1) I grew up listening to country music. My dad used to tell stories of listening to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio in his room as he fell asleep as a child. So imagine my dad’s delight when I played the Grand Ole Opry back in 2003 and 2005 and he got to come backstage to the place that shaped his youth and helped him escape a rather difficult childhood. It was one of my all-time favorite dream-turned-reality moments.

2) I used to read Moll Anderson’s column in Nashville Lifestyles every month as I ate macaroni and cheese on my lunch break while working at a beauty store in Nashville. At the time, I was missing L.A. and feeling like my best opportunities had passed me by. I felt a little hopeless and I saw this gorgeous, smart, creative and inspiring woman living the life that I could only imagine living. Fast forward 5 years and I randomly (or was it?) met Moll’s son in the elevator of an office that we shared in Hollywood. Now, I am a correspondent for Beauty Beat on The Moll Anderson Show every week on iHeartRadio and I call Moll my dear friend and inspiring mentor. And let me tell you, knowing her is even more inspiring than reading her.

3) Another example? When I was going through a rather painful breakup with my ex (don’t worry, he’s now my best friend), I was depressed. So depressed that I had been sitting around my house, drowning myself in breakup movies and Friday Night Lights episodes – trying to forget what might have been. At one point, I knew I needed to get out. So I made myself go out to a wine bar called Bottle Rock in Culver City…alone.

I sat on a couch outside and there was another single girl there, Alexandra. We ended up chatting and, after sharing our stories, she told me that I MUST read this book called, I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway: A Memoir by Tracy McMillan. Alexandra told me that I would get so much out of it at that point in my life. I bought the book on Amazon that very night and had read it within 4 days. I loved it and consider it a huge part of my heart-healing process. A few months later, my dear friend, Amy, came by and saw the book sitting on my table. “Did you read this? My friend Tracy is the author.” I was stunned.

I ended up meeting Tracy a few months later at Amy’s holiday party and am now grateful to call her my friend. And she continues to inspire me as writer and as a person. I have never seen Alexandra again but we are friends on Facebook. If I had not made myself go out, not chosen to go to that wine bar, not chosen to sit outside, sit on that couch or near Alexandra, I never would have read that book that inspired me so much. And I never would have been able to meet one of my now-literary heroes.

4) I’ve seen it with my friends, as well. When I worked for Barbra Streisand, I met Moe and Tini who came on to the team as Barbra’s assistants. Moe and Tini had been loyal Barbra fans since their childhood days in Philly. When they ended up working for Barbra in Malibu, there was no way to ignore that their dreams had turned into their realities. Now, they’re on to their next dreams of being writers/directors/producers and have an amazing film in pre-production based on their Philly days.

5) And I also saw it with Tracy McMillan, herself. She – and her friends – recall countless times that she said her dream was to be on Oprah. This past May, that dream came true when she appeared on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.

So don’t tell me that synchronicity isn’t real. Don’t tell me that dreams don’t come true. And don’t be afraid to believe in the beauty of your dreams. Those dreams are some powerful things, my friends. Believe that they just might come true. And look for the synchronicity in your life for synchronicity is basically just a reminder that your dreams are works-in-progress, just waiting to come true in their own time.

LOW: Ricky Nelson Knew Best

As I have mentioned before, I tend to be a major people pleaser – so much so that I have been working at trying to become a little less of a people pleaser. But it is no easy task. While I don’t make it a habit of letting down people, in the past few months, I have done just that a few times. One of my best friends is not talking to me because I was tardy in replying to a text when she needed me…apparently very much. Another friend told me this past weekend that I hadn’t been as actively supportive and helpful of their career as they would like while they have always been my biggest champion.

Listen, these are not things I enjoy admitting. It breaks my heart and makes me question whether I am on the right path a bit. But here’s the thing: I know that I am. I am just learning new boundaries, taking care of myself and slowly – very slowly  – learning not to take everything so personally. My parents used to love Ricky Nelson – and he was, in fact, one of the first concerts I attended as a small child. So that might be why the lines from his song, “Garden Party” keep ringing in my head. “I’ve learned my lesson well. See, you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.”

Well, I’ll still probably try to make people happy  – most especially those people I love. But I am learning that in this busy game called life, you can only do your best and leave the rest – and hope that you can be forgiven when you fall short. Because you will – as hard as you try not to – sometimes, fall short.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?