Dear 15-Year-Old Me: You’re Okay

This is hanging on my dad’s office wall. Me at 15. I saw this picture at my dad’s house, and it broke my heart.

Me at 15.

I saw a gorgeous 15-year-old girl, but that’s not the 15-year-old girl I remembered.

The 15-year-old I rememberer was chubby, with braces, looked like a boy, and was much too much.

Too much, physically.

Too much curly hair.

Too much love to give.

Too much of a talker.

Too much of a singer.

Too much of an actor.

Too much of a kiss-up.

Too much for her parents.

Too much for her brother.

Too much for boys.

Too much for herself.

Too much everything.

That is not who I see now. I see someone who was just enough.

I see this picture and see a gorgeous 15-year-old, with a big personality, who was painfully insecure. More than anything, I wish I could go back and tell myself: “Embrace your curves. You’re never going to be a size 0, so stop fighting it so hard. You’re only wasting time and energy. Embrace your talents and loving spirit. You don’t need to be your big brother, best friend, or anyone else for that matter. You just need to be you. It’s enough. Don’t be afraid of being different. It’s the very thing that will change your life for the better. You’re enough. You’re special. Life is going to be so sweet. And, lastly, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

I dedicate this post to all girls in middle school and high school out there, and their parents. I promise it’s going to get better. YOU’RE okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.

xoxo,

Dawn

My Birthday Party 2013: Come As You Were…or WISH You Were In High School

The gang! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

 

Oh, how I love me a theme party! I have one every year for my birthday and it always fills me with such joy. I mean what could be more fun than dressing up like someone – or something – else, being surrounded by friends, sipping champagne, eating delicious eats, polishing off some cake and dancing until the sun comes up? I’ll tell ya – not much. Previous birthday party themes of mine have included Dallas (the 80s show), 80s, 70s, Toddlers & Tiaras and more.

But this year’s had to have been my favorite thus far! I decided last year at my birthday that the theme would be “Come As You Were…or Wish You Were In High School.” So when I was home in Dallas in October, I broke out my Episcopal School of Dallas private school uniform (the skirt still fit! Yay!) and my cheerleading uniform (the top didn’t fit because I grabbed my JV uniform my mistake – oops!) and decided it was ON!

One of my best friends – and my former roomie and uber-talented BeautyFrosting graphic designer – Vanessa York of Shindig Shoppe designed the adorable invite drawing on the colors of my home, varsity lettering and, of course, pom-poms.

The oh-so-cute invitation designed by Vanessa York of Shindig Shoppe

 

Next, my dear hairstylist & friend, Robby LaRiviere, whipped my hair up into some pretty darned precious pigtails, I picked up some saddle shoes at Shelly’s Dance (my FAVE for costumes & alterations in LA!!!) and I donned Outfit #1. Oh, honey, you KNOW there was gonna be a wardrobe change!

THE FASHION

Outfit #1: My Episcopal School of Dallas uniform from 1996:

Donning my Episcopal School of Dallas original uniform! The fact that it still fit is cause alone for celebration! Photo by Guerrero Photography & Photobooth by Takahiro Watanabe Photography, Custom Tassel Garland by Studio Mucci

 

And with glasses, of course!

And I had to wear glasses for a few, of course! Glasses by Ivory Mason, Photo by Guerrero Photography & Photobooth by Takahiro Watanabe Photography, Tassel Garland by Studio Mucci

Outfit #2:
My Episcopal School of Dallas Cheerleading Uniform from 1993 (GO EAGLES!!!) – I grabbed by JV – and not my Varsity uniform – by mistake so Shelly’s had to let out the chest a bit. I was 15 when I last wore this one!

Donning my ESD Junior Varsity Cheerleading Uniform, American Apparel knee socks & saddle shoes from Shelly's; Photography by Guerrero Photography and Photobooth by Takahiro Watanabe Photography; Custom Tassel Garland by Studio Mucci

 THE DECOR

I love that my birthday is so close to Christmas because I can decorate my house for Christmas and let it serve as deco for my birthday party. With my Studio Mucci custom tassel garlands, Shabby Chic decorations, pastel lights and vintage finds from Uptown Country Home that I’ve bought over the years, I love creating a Whimsical Winter Wonderland. Add some wintry pink & blue balloons and my high school yearbooks and you’ve got a party!

The living room...

 

Kids love those balloons...

More deco...

THE LIBATIONS

I remember that Queer Eye For The Straight Guy said it best once. “The right cocktails keep your guests socially lubricated.” When you’re mixing together over 50 of your closest friends – some who know one another but many who don’t – you want to keep the cocktails flowing. I decided to keep it simple by supplying a wine bar. Lucky for me, One Hope Wine and Hope at Home were eager to help.

One Hope Wine tantalized my guests' tastebuds with 4 of their wine varietals and a signature cocktail that we'll be debuting on Thursday on Thirsty Thursday this week!

With a signature cocktail, BeautyFrosting’s Spiced Rum Apple Cider Mimosa (catch the recipe this Thursday on BF on Thirsty Thursday), Cabernet Sauvignon 2012, Pinot Noir 2011, Chardonnay 2012, Sauvignon Blanc 2012 and their new California Brut Sparkling Wine (All wines are $18.99), my guests were totally socially lubricated. Everyone raved about my wine selection from One Hope – and my bartender & party hostess, Kristin – but the California Brut Sparkling Wine was the first to go! People were literally asking me how they could get some One Hope of their own!

A bucket full of hope on ice! Photo by Guerrero Photography

But my favorite thing about One Hope – besides the way it tastes – is the charity component that makes them who they are. With every bottle of One Hope wine sold, an impact is made as 50% of  the proceeds goes to a variety of good causes including: AIDS, Alzheimers, Autism, Breast Cancer, Childhood Hunger, Veterans and more. I’ll be featuring One Hope every Thursday for the next 6 Thirsty Thursdays so you’ll see lots more of them – and the love I have for everything that they’re about!

THE NIBBLES

Well, we know I’m a foodie and I love to bake but, um, sometimes I can go overkill when it comes to my parties. For this one, I relied on a few of my party faves – such as Southern Shrimp Ball, Bandito Black Bean dip, L’il Smokies, Texas Ranch House Queso, Red Velvet Dip and Pistachio Thumbprint and Eggnog Thumbprint Cookies that are always a hit. And then I hit up Whole Foods for a veggie tray and Trader Joe’s for cheese, charcuterie and crackers.

The spread…a foodie's dream!

And then there was the cake…Oh my…

The cake by Hansen's Cakes

Hansen’s Cakes was responsible for this deliciousness. Marble cake with butterchip filling and buttercream frosting. I’m still dreaming of it but had to give all leftovers away!

THE PHOTOS

As a photographer’s daughter – and a blogger, of course – photos are super important to me. So I asked my friends, Takahiro Watanabe Photography and Guerrero Photography to help me out for the evening.
The DIY Photobooth with Takahiro that I literally just put outside against a stucco wall was a hit. That’s gonna have to be a whole other post because EVERYONE can do this and it was sooooo much fun!

Here are just a few of the 267 photos from the Photobooth. For more, check out the entire album of fun (complete with my house pics, food pics and more) at: Dawn’s Birthday 2013: Come As You Were…or Wish You Were in High School on Facebook (yep, I made it public for your perusal & enjoyment).

Photobooth fun! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

 

Photobooth fun! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

Photobooth fun! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

hotobooth fun! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

Another group shot by Guerrero Photography:

The gang! Photos by Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

Thank you to all of my friends who came, drank, ate, danced til 4 am, showered me with gifts & love and took pics with me all night long! It was a magical night I will always remember!

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: How did you celebrate your birthday this year? 

 CREDITS

Wine & Cocktails by: One Hope Wine & Hope At Home

Blowout & Pigtails by: Robby LaRiviere

Photos by: Takahiro Watanabe Photography & Guerrero Photography

Tassel Garlands by: Studio Mucci

Party Set-up Assistant: Sarah of TaskRabbit

Bartender/Guest Hostess: Kristin of TaskRabbit

Cake: Hansen’s Cakes

Wardrobe Alterations & Shoes: Shelly’s Dance Supply

 

 

 

Dawn’s Diary: Dreams, Destiny and Detours

When I moved to Los Angeles in the early 2000s, I wanted more than anything to act, write and sing. I felt like it was my destiny. My calling. My friend, Sarah, once told me that I was one of the most confident people she’d ever met when it came to knowing what I wanted to do.

Confident I was not. In fact, my acting teacher in Austin – Mona Lee – once told me that my lack of confidence was the only thing standing in the way between me and success. By 2002, insecurity and fear had set in and had me by the throat.

Me, age 23

 

I never felt like I was “enough” – pretty enough/thin enough/talented enough/cool enough/confident enough  – to do all of the things I wanted to do in this town. I let fear take control of the wheel and acting and writing got the brakes. My day job of shopping for Barbra Streisand and my band, Hawkeye, ended up taking center stage and all my other dreams kind of fell into the background. I thought I had missed my chance and that the life I was going to live was going to be very different from the life I had always imagined for myself.

Fast forward to 2013 and I am so grateful that what used to be my “dream day” is now my normal day. I love waking up to check emails & blog feedback, auditioning and being a paid, working writer. What have I learned since those first days in LA? It really is a 10 year town. And dreams can come true – even if they’re not just like how you imagined them. Now, I am so grateful for the time it took and for the bends in the road I navigated to get me to this point.

 

Hard at work or at play?

 

Creativity reigns supreme in my life. I am never bored. And I am utterly delighted and humbly grateful to get to do what I do daily while being surrounded by people I love who inspire me.

 

Never bored - Writing, Singing, Voiceovers, Acting

 

 

Friends always ask how I am able to stay so busy and yet be so positive. I have found that  the old adage is true –  “if you really love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life”. While I still have many dreams yet to come true and a long way to go, I am so grateful for the daily dreams that are being actualized every single day. And every day, new ones present themselves to me. Next up? Hosting. Who knew?
If you have dreams that have been cast aside due to work obligations, family, time management or the-ever-defeating fear, try taking small steps to reintroduce them back into your life.

Ask yourself today, “If I could live any other life right now, what would I be doing?” It doesn’t mean that you have to change your whole life, it’s just the first chapter in finding the best ways to reintroduce your passions back into your life and live the life you’ve always imagined. After all…
It is never too late to make your dream a reality. 

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” (Steve Jobs)

 

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What’s holding you back from going after your dreams? 


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